Over protective parents.

So.. while taking the washing down earlier, I got thinking about being a parent and how I have changed with each child.

When Juliette was little, I was a "bit" over protective. I used to hate it when other people held her and very reluctantly gave her to others when they requested holding her. I always felt that it was my duty to keep a close eye on her and know exactly where she was, what she was doing and - if I'd been so bold as to let her out of my sight for a few seconds - who she was with (not to mention what they were doing with / to my precious baby girl) at any given second of the day. [I should also mention that I was very keen to have all my four children - yes, we wanted four from the start - close together, as in about 18 months apart, so that I could get on with it and be all done with having babies by the time I was 30! Haha, what a joke, Julie was born when I was 26!] Julie was very quick with doing everything. She started crawling at 5 months, was standing by herself by 8 months and hit the ground running by 9 months. She was and still is very quick to catch on to things. A very clever little girl with a very sharp tongue and quick mind. Mostly a very responsible kid with a memory like that of an elephant. I kid you not!! Yet, also very defiant (just like her MOTHER!!) ;)

Then when Julie was 2 (!!!) we found out we were going to be parents to another baby. SO, we waited and it all went a lot quicker than the first time, as I'm sure all parents out there can attest to, and I finally got my boy. I knew Jordan was going to be a boy from the first time we went for a scan at 10 weeks. I saw the little blob that was him and just said, "It's my boy!!". [Here I should tell you that previously, I'd only wanted boy children. I was a teenage girl who fought a LOT with my mom hence my desire for the opposite gender in my offspring - to avoid any such thing with a future teenage daughter if mine. Haha again... I am already having arguments about who is right and 'why (she) should always do what I want (her) to do' and she's only 8!!] Nevertheless, Jordy came along, was the sweetest baby around, always so good and quiet. He only started talking in whispers and used to go to bed by himself when he was tired. He's still a good kid. Very obedient and willing to do the right thing purely because it's right. The two of them used to play outside a lot and I'd let them go without nearly as much fuss as I made over Julie when she was Jordy's age. I guess it could be because I knew Julie was with him too and she, being the very protective girl she is, watched over him very carefully. The two of them have a special bond. Unlike the one I have with my older brother, so I am a bit envious of it, actually. BUT at the same time, I'm very grateful that they do have it - it's wonderful to see them love each other and have Julie (still) always watching out for her younger brother.  I often wonder how much of a difference their age gap plays in that. They are 2y & 8m apart.

I wish the same could be said of Julie & Eden's bond... Their age gap is just less than 5 years. And I mean just less. Julie's birthday is on 11 July and Edie's on 11 June so they are literally 4y & 11m apart. Julie is going through her pre-teen stage and Edie is, well... Edie. Before I say anything else, it has to be said that Eden is a very sweet little girl and loves everyone in our family. She's a bit 'pa-vas' at the moment and she worships Julie but she has a little streak in her that drives me insane! She's a true Gemini. She is sweet as candy one minute and then is a real little brat the next. I have found this year, though, that as she's become the 'oldest' at home in the mornings, she has become more willing to budge on some things and she's more responsive to our 'parental suggestions' on how to do things and how to act. She's fiercely independent and definitely likes to have everything her way. I have to watch myself a lot with her because she does well with open communication where I say how and why we do / don't do some things and then after she's thought about it, she thinks it's her idea to do what I've suggested. This isn't fool-proof but it works most of the time. She's also a very intelligent little thing. She catches on to puns and other word games very quickly and enjoys them. My little wild child!

Kael (KALE, in pronunciation) is just a funny little monkey. He loves being the centre of attention, he's such a card and he is almost always smiling. A very happy kid. We weren't planning on having him, per say. We thought we'd done well with 3 kids and were happy to say that was it. However, neither Paul nor I were at all keen to do anything permanent about it. After going through 3 pregnancies, giving birth, breastfeeding all 3 kids (until then) and all else that goes along with it, there was NO way I was going to go and have my insides cut or tied  up or lazered out. So, Kael came along. I told Paul he was going to be a dad again on his birthday :) And this is why I love this man so much: He said, 'Awesome!! We'll get by somehow :)'. So each child has brought new challenges to our finances, new adventures that are par for the course with any addition and I have relaxed a bit more.

Kael & Edie go and visit the little girls a few houses down from us in our complex. Julie & Jordan go out and play with their friends in the complex. And I am ever here to make sure they are all ok. I do go and check on them every now and then but having them in pairs or even sometimes all together, I know that they will watch out for each other. OR call me when they are sick of each other... Hahaha :D

The funny thing is that I see the same thing happening with other parents around me. They are super over protective with their first children and as the second (and usually the last in this day) one comes, they are way more relaxed & willing to let their kids do more by themselves. I have often heard people say that they made all their mistakes with their oldest child and I now know that to be true. I feel for Julie because I am harder on her than the others but then I think, she is the one who has to be the example to the others and they will learn a lot from her. Still, I should love and praise her in all her efforts more. She's a great kid!

I love my kids and I love being a mom. I am so grateful for the chance I've had here to step out of myself and be the one they call on (500 million times a day). I don't know how people who don't have kids by choice can ever say they are complete and their lives are fulfilled. How can they when all that they do is self-serving? We are meant to be here, having families, learning that there's more to life and love than just ourselves. It's not always easy, in fact it's the hardest thing I've ever done because it never ends but it's the most worthwhile thing I could ever have done with my life. I'm also so grateful that I have a husband who is my best friend, who supports me in being me and all that comes with that and who is the most wonderful father to our beautiful children.

The deal with cleaning.

So here's the deal. We all love living and being in a clean house, right?

We had a lesson on Sunday 13 Feb (Gospel Principles) in Relief Society about Work. Some sisters raised the point that they grew up without maids and have been cleaning their whole lives so they love it and don't know how else it can / could be. I then added my 50c worth and said that I too grew up without a maid and we'd clean the house every Saturday as a family, I hated it back then and still hate it today. However, we do it with our kids every Saturday. We all wake up, clean the house and then we have the rest of the day to mess it up again, I mean, enjoy it ;) I refuse to be the family maid and clean up after everyone else. I also want my kids to understand that they are responsible for the mess they make and that "Mommy Dearest" won't be slave to their mess-creating ways.

So while doing laundry (or for those South Africans out there *hehehe*, 'the washing') I got to thinking about it [Yes, I do a lot of my thinking while performing mindless tasks such as this.] and I came to the conclusion that although I love to have a clean house and I want my kids to grow up knowing that it's good to live in a clean house which means they must learn to pick up after themselves, I again made peace with the fact that we live in a house with children. Children make a mess - not always a dirty mess, mostly just with leaving toys / clothes / shoes etc. lying around - and because I'm not going to get all anal about it and cause myself extra stress by fighting with them all day long about it, our house will sometimes be messy if people come to visit. Like it or lump it.